Abundance

My God Whisper for today:

Dear Stacy, Announcement: You’re a factory of miracles. That’s how I made you. Sadly, for some people, the factory is closed down. Or the factory is running at a fraction of its full capacity. Today, I will revive your factory of miracles. Today, I speak abundance into your life. Miracles,God P.S. Stacy, I declare that your life will produce more miracles than you ever dreamed possible.

I need to be revived now. I want to be capable to work in full capacity!

Today, I have to exercise my faith. I should practice what I preach. I should believe. I should hold tighter and anchor more on the rock of my salvation, Jesus.

I can do this! 

Are you back?

God, being my only inspiration, in times that I am down, in times that I feel that I am unworthy of His love, is an effective way to realize once again that I was sealed by the most precious blood of His Son, and I am a wonderful child in His loving eyes. 

Paanong di kita ibigin? paanong di ka patawarin? 

Bago ka isilang sa lupa, ika'y Akin nang inaruga. 

If the Almighty utters these words to you, what would you feel? Me, I will feel so blessed and I would  stand in awe of Him, of His mercy and constant love. Of His endless and immeasurable understanding and care. 

Paanong Ako'y iyong lisanin, paanong Ako'y iyong limutin? 

Gayon man, poot papawiin. Ang iyong pagbalik, hihintayin. 

In my past life as a sinner, many times, I have been away from Him. In my life now, as a renewed Christian, I magnify and bless the Lord for changing me little by little and gradually bringing me back to His love. How wonderful that He is very patient with me. In many times I would go away and go back to him wounded and broken, His joy that I am back will welcome me and He will ask no questions but heal my wounds and bathe me in His everlasting love. 

Sa bawat pagtawag Ko sa iyo, 

sa Bawat hakbang mong palayo, nananangis tong yaring puso. 

Yes, we make God sad every time we forget to even say "Hi" to Him in times that we are so busy of our worldly life, we don't even care to say "thank you" for the air we breath every day, and every answer of "No!" in times He is asking us to sit with Him and enjoy the goodness of a life immersed in His love.

Hangad pa rin, ang tinig mo...

Who can accept a person in spite of his shortcoming? Who would allow a garbage inside his clean home? Only GOD would embrace such thing for He believes that all His creations are beautiful. That all has worth. That whatever it looks like or no matter how deformed it is, it is still a priceless possession. 






Yes, you are a priceless possession of the Mighty Creator. Just call Him and He will listen and be with you with all the love He has. 


Bask in His love. It is the best thing on Earth.  ♥

Dumped: Overcoming a Breakup

This morning, my good friend called my attention to tell me she sent me a mail and that I should open it at once (bossy as she is).


Subject is a plain smiley face like this ---> :) 


When I clicked on it and read the title, I said, "Why do you have to let me read it? I'm done with my break-up, I overcome it already, this is for someone who is still having a hard time realizing this!" 


And my ever calm office mate/friend just smiled (yeah, typical of her to do that).
Alright, I know what that smile means. She wants me to read it, NO MATTER WHAT. Okay, okay, hands up! I clicked on the link and started reading it. 

Dumped: Overcoming a Breakup

The items the author listed are facts. Facts I have realized and have to apply and watch out for in my relationship in the future. 
And the ultimate fact that I am so thankful that I realized: GOD LOVES ME. He loves me so much to do things for my good. The time (Ec 3:1) for me to be His child. 


My office mate then came to me while I was reading it and said "Nice, right?" and I smiled. :)


I have decided to share this in Facebook, in Twitter, and here in my blog.


I am sharing this because I feel those who are currently on this stage of their relationship. I was once there. 
It was hard, it was mind-boggling, heart-gripping and life-freezing. But the answer is lingering around us all throughout this episode. It is just waiting to be recognized. The Word. Jesus Christ. God's Love.


The Almighty explains things we cannot explain. And leaning on to Him is more than enough, because HE is GOD.

Friends, do not rush things. All, in GOD's time, will fall to its proper places. 


To God be the Glory.

In a Relationship with GOD

I came from a two-day Growth in the Spirit Seminar with my catholic charismatic community, Voice of the Holy Spirit (VOHS). It was a seminar wherein it is explained in a detailed manner the ways on how to live life in a more Christian way. The program flow is confidential but I can summarize it in just a phrase without spilling anything that is not to be revealed yet: I created a deeper relationship with God, thus I claim and proclaim I am IN A RELATIONSHIP with HIM.

Your grace and blessing flowed like a mighty river, alive and moving forward, farther, toward true Christianity. Hallelujah!

~VOHS Facebook Like Page Status

There are facts I encountered:

• Faith and Love is a decision.
• God must be given freedom to move in my life so that He can guide me.
• Christian Community will liberate me from the bondage of the world.
• I can be a Hazel Stacy "in this world" but not "of this world".
• All is everything and everything is all.

It was an unexplained joy and peace I am feeling right now. This has ignited again the fire and zeal of loving HIM. And the first step I will make so that all else will fall into its proper places in God's perfect time, I will be more immersed in HIS agape kind of love, a love unconditional and eternal.

To God be the glory, forever and ever!

Would I be, now that I have you?

I was asking myself (not regularly) if after my heart break (a long relationship it was) I would be able to love again (human love, God's love is given and I know I love God and He loves me)?

I think I am not yet ready. I have been through so much. Yes, it was hard to pick my broken pieces up, stand and face the world and move on. I needed The Divine, His grace, for me to be able to totally accept it and live the happy and contented life I have now.

Questions like You have a boyfriend? Why not? and When are you getting married? are everywhere! I am not pressured, really. And I don't intend to rush. I know God has plans for me. :)

FALLING IN LOVE is the word I would use for God alone. I did not plan it. IT JUST HAPPENED. It was His grace. He chose me. And when I allowed myself to bask in that love, I felt that it is indeed the best thing I have ever done, and will continue to do, for myself.

And then I came across this wonderful song sang by a very talented group, The Madrigal Singers.

Now That I Have You (The Madrigal Singers)

I was indeed WOWed! It was playing over and over again as my background while working and I like it. I take this as the answer to my question, Will I be able to love again? God says "Yes!"

God has prepared for me that song that I'll be singing my whole life through. That song is just around. In God's perfect time, he'll just come by and the rest will be history. ♥

                                                      The BEST relationship, EVER! 

This time, this desire to be in love again is fantasy no more. It is God-given. And I will share His love to somebody who will be my husband and my partner is sharing His goodness to the world. For now, my heart belongs to Jesus alone. But my God is not selfish. You (yes You, my future husband), when you come into my life, Jesus will be more than welcome to share me to you. And I am so excited to see you and meet you. :)

Shadow of your Wings

I believe that I will always be okay when I am in the shadow of your wings...


Thank you Lord!

Lakeside-made Loveletter

[No matter where I am in my life, though I am completely happy with what I am, with the blessing I am receiving, with the people around me, I can't help but sometimes feel sad because I am missing someone who [has been/is still/I would want to be] part of my life. 

When I reread this soon, I'll just smile at myself for being a matured woman with bits of pieces of young, emo, and sensitive heart. Ü

Below is the raw letter I wrote in my phone for this one person I can't forget. Or should I say I do not want to forget. Someone who is still important to me...Someone who I wish could be mine...]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Afternoon
Club Balai Isabel
April 11, 2012

Dear You,

Hi. It's been a while. How's your life there? You enjoying?
I am in my mood na super namimiss na kita.. baka dahil sa ganda ng lugar na kinaroroonan ko ngayon..lake side..sa Taal.

Two years kana jan.. Uuwi ka na? Hay.. Namiss lang kita... Bigla lang sumagi sa isip ko na oras na para umuwi ka..2yrs eh..if hindi, ok lang. tapos naisip ko from my emo mind na lahat nmn ng umiiwan saken di bumabalik. stupid and negative mindset. i hate it when i am in this kind of mood.
pero i am not losing hope..honestly i really am not losing hope..na babalik ka..na we'll be together again. na we'll make our dreams come true.

Pero sympre bago mtupad to dapat ung 'our', ung 'we', ung 'tayo' ay maibalik..hay..pede pa kaya?
my worries are:

(1) baka may iba kana..committed to someone else already..anjan kaya d mo maiwan

(2) bka you are over me na 

(3) you dont love me na..

Dami ko concerns..di na kasi tayo nguusap masyado..i miss communicating wd you..i miss knowing more about you..i miss dreaming with you..

i dont know nga kung ok lng to pero alam mo, khit yaw mo or hindi,kahit pwde or hindi, naiisip ko at naniniwala prin ako na mahal mo parin ako..na may chance pa..na babalik ka for me. na you'll be that mine il spend the rest of my life with..hay.. emo mode ako!! kasi _____ mahal pa rin kita eh.. i have asked myself over and over again pero un..ikaw prin eh..hay..

let's get back together..please be mine again..

-Stacy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

[And there I was yesterday, In my emotional side. And today? I don't know. Everyday changes. Everyday brings a new mood.


Carpe diem!]

It's Valentine's Day 2012

I think this is the best day to write about a talk I was asked to do (and I am way too delayed based on the submission date I was asked to forward this), a talk on God's love. But I am so filled with the cheesy sweet nothings flooding the social networking world. Probably I'll indulge myself in this cheesiness first. haha!


This day is just like any extraordinarily ordinary day. 
I woke up earlier than expected (because I am avoiding this pervert guy who looks at me whenever we ride the same jeepney. Leaving earlier means there is littlest chance I'll ride the same jeep with him!).
Sky seems better compared yesterday. The street is dry, the weather is cool and uhmm, relaxing. 
There is no traffic (or am I just concentrating much on sleeping during my work-bound ride?)
My morning routine started: breakfast, coffee, chat with my office mates. This time, I did not open my Facebook yet.
When it was 10 minutes to eight, I switched my computer alive, logged in to FB and poof! Notification that he (yes, he, is my special someone. my 'unofficially mine') sent me a message 30 minutes ago! arrgh! Why didn't I log in earlier? waahh!
Anyway, those messages from him is more than enough for me to have an extraordinaire valentines day. The messages were simple yet the impact is indescribable. He just confirmed the feeling is still mutual. ♥


A little while later, when I was sure he is already asleep (different time zone baby), I started listening to the songs of the late Whitney Houston. From Saving all my love for you to Where do broken hearts go to Run to you. I don't know but when RUN TO YOU started playing while I was looking at awesome, jaw-dropping scenic views of the world and all God's creation, with scriptures written intricately on each pictures, I think I wanted to cry! God is really wonderful. Even though I don't have a date today, He made me feel through that simple thing I did, that HE is my DATE forever. Ü


And now, I am playing Kenny G's Silhouette (thanks to YouTube coz I dont know where my dad placed his CD), for the nth time now. Lovely music! Soothing, relaxing. Makes me want to fall in love more. And it's being simply special helped me in finishing my report for today. Ü


Now that I have given color to my lips (red, it is) as I prepare for lunch (with my officemates of course), I'll leave the computer a bit, and continue my blog later. :) mangan! Ü

Life is a Waste?

I am reading for the second time a book I have read years ago, THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN by Mitch Albom. During the first part where Eddie, the main character met the first people in heaven (the blue man), he blurted that his life is a waste. And the blue man said "The only time we waste is the time thinking that we are alone". A very strong point and inspiring set of words to start our day. 

Most of the time, we feel sad. We feel at one point of our life that because we dont have what other people have, like cars, houses, boyfriends and other stuff, we think we are alone. We think that because other friends, colleagues or acquaintance of the same age as ours already have several achievements in life and has established their own names in their industries, we are inferior. And us, we are still where we started, we think that we are not moving forward, we are wasting our lives. And from this, we are being dragged to a corner of loneliness, we self pity, we feel we are alone.

But on top of all of this weakening emotions, we should not forget that our Creator never leaves us, He never does. We just need to acknowledge His love and allow Him to work on us. Let us claim that happiness is not from the material things, relationships, achievements that we dont have. Realize that being alone is same as letting the darkness drag us to the unwanted side. Let us see the friends we have, our family. Count our blessings and put a smile on your face as you do so.

Happiness is the Love of God, His creations, His words. Being intimately in love with the most magnificent is the most extreme happiness one can ever feel. How can I say this? Because I experienced this. The world may turn its back on me but never will I feel that I'm alone because God is in me.

Have a great day!

[Written Sept. 18, 2010]

My Heart Speaks

it wasnt easy to be in-love with you.. 

it is like rowing against the stream of a river... 
it is facing the gustiness of the wind.. 
it is like enduring the heat of the fire... 
it is like climbing the mountain without a harness... 
it is being scathed and bruised but not feeling the pain... 

yet loving you is like floating in the clouds.. 
it is like being tickled with a feather... 
it is like winning a poker match or leveling up in farmville.. 
it is like hitting the target in my outbound calls.. 
or having a venti Mocha Java frap after a hard day's work... 
loving u is like a first kiss.. 
a first piece of rose for valentines... 
a long-waited love letter... 
a sweet whisper of "i love you"... 

loving is worth my life.. it is worth all the tears and sacrifices.. 

you are worth my love.. you always will be.. 


[Written Sept. 15, 2009]

10-10-10

I knew it was NOT going to be just my "usual" Sunday. Not simply because it's 10-10-10, which is the date I was suppose to get married (but thank God im still Single and loving it Ü), and not because it is the nationwide run to clean the Pasig River and to break the world record but there's something more than all of these things.

I woke up early because I wasnt able to sleep well (thinking of someone? or something?). Got myself ready (just like when someone prepares for a grand get-together), prepared everything I need. Wore the white shirt which my parents will also be wearing. Grabbed my pink necklace to break the monotony and bring a little color to my plainness. Fix myself a little and voila! I was ready to go.

I was energized even without breakfast. The cells of my body are in their battle mode and I can feel the perkiness of all the molecules composing my system. Why is that?

When we get there, it wasn't a culture shock to see the place where our hearts and faith dragged us to go. I've seen the scenario before. It is plainly reality biting to me, again. I was in a s0-s0 mode if these group, these people, will be able to pour their emotions out and bare themselves to accept the most precious gift they can ever receive.

As time passed, the excitement in me increased. The music, the songs, the dance charged me more. My worries were erased as I see the eagerness in each of the participant's faces. The temperature, the humidity, the smell, the sweat that lingers in our skins were never a hindrance to our reason of being there. What we only feel is the strongest power of all, the power of the Holy Spirit working in each and everyone of us.

From the community members' anointing until the baptism, I felt how God moves in remarkable ways!

It is true and I'm so confident to tell the world that the creator is powerful. He is God. Because when I faced Him, all the weariness in me dissolved, all the strengths melted down. My own protective shield switched off because the strongest shield of all created by the Mighty Creator covered and embraced me. The feeling of being in His hands was felt.

I know it wasn't just me who experienced this miracle but all my brothers and sisters in that same place. It was indeed a remarkable day. The smiles on our faces, the hopes in our hearts, the forgivenes, a new life, the happiness of being and belonging to God is all over that little chapel. God's love made us glow that day, and that brilliance was sustained until the day after that.

The Life in the Spirit Seminar changed those Eves and everytime I attend one, it never fails to touch me and change me more to being a child of God.

Up to now, I can still feel God's overflowing love for me. I'm hoping it's always Thursday (so that I'll be with the community) and that it is already November 27 and 28, because I cant wait anymore to see another batch of answer-seeking faces enter Padre Pio Chapel and see them went out on the second day with the radiance and happiness brought about by God's love.

I'm confident of God's existence. I trust Him with my life. And I will always believe in Him and in His miracles.

To God be the Glory, Amen.

[Written Oct. 13, 2010 at 3:31 PM]

A Little Sharing wont Harm

My realizations for the past few days of my 'new life'. Maybe you can relate as well.Enjoy reading!

1. I LOVE YOU FOREVER, when said  by human, IS A LIE.

Since no one's gonna live forever, it is better to use I  LOVE YOU FOR LIFE. A love which is FOREVER belongs to the Creator only. He is the only one who loves unconditionally, forever. 

2. WORDS WITHOUT ACTIONS AND EMOTIONS are nothing. 

This applies to faith, relationships (be it in business or personal) and the like. Action speaks louder than words but actions should be heart felt, or else, its equivalent to nothing.

3.  TEMPTATIONS are easy to handle IF YOU HAVE STRONG PRAYERS AND FAITH in GOD.

Be it books, movies, tv shows, text messages, it is up to us to control temptations. And when you say NO to it, God will say Yes to you and for sure the heaven will celebrate.Ü

4. IF THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY

If you are serious and really dedicated into doing something, nothing can stop you from doing it. Time and resources are not problems--they are challenges. And if you really need to do it, God will support you and He will make a way, promise!

5.  MIRACLES EXIST and PRAYERS ARE VERY POWERFUL

Not late in reporting for work, successful presentation, a loving family, good friends, a very supportive community, peace of mind and love for enemies --they are all miracles which I was able to achieve because of prayers. 

I just want to share this with you. Jut simple realizations that is helping me to move forward to being a better creation.

Right now, I'm in the point of no turning back: I ain't gonna turn back from Jesus and my Christian Life.

God Bless us all!

[Written Oct. 24, 2010 at 9:22PM]

The Joy of Falling In-Love

The joy of falling in-love with God is a joy that is incomparable to human love.

• It makes us secure.
• It becomes the pool of strength especially in times we humbly admit we are weak;
• it gives not just a flicker but a flood of hope when we are down.

It is the kind of love that:

• lights a room more than a fluorescent bulb can do
• It creates and explosion of colors and sounds more awe-inspiring than the pyrolympics exhibit;
• it pours blessings not just a handful but more than what you prayed for!

Remember this: Ps 37:4 Delight in the Lord and you will have the desires of your heart.

God's love is the one I can describe as really "falling in-love" because it's something I cant do anything about. It's something I just allow myself to be in.

I know you share this same feeling that's why I'm sharing it with you! Ü

Stay in-love with Him!

[Written Nov. 23, 2010 at 4:40PM]

A Fruit of Being IN-LOVE with HIM

I'm thankful to God and on how He changed me.

I was able to smile in spite of mountains and storms; and enjoy the sunlight and rain drops in a way I delight in seeing a rainbow in the sky --a different level of euphoria.

I can shout for joy for His love and His glory  and dance with grace and style that can only come from Him, our Majesty.

I'm on guard of my words, my actions, my thoughts and my character for I dont want to fail Him after accepting me again;

and on guard of my heart because I dont want it to break it again for this heart is my Lord's.

My fingers arent crossed when Im asking for something--my hands, they are placed together, close to my my heart in prayer, or outstretched over my head towards the heavens in surrender. Fiat voluntas tua.

I love our God and I know and I feel He loves me so much more.

That's why I made this promise: This ring on my finger does not mean I am engaged to a mortal. It means I am keeping my promise to God that I will take care of everything He has given me including myself.

I'll give myself to that one person who'll face the altar and honor God's goodness and power. And I will share my life to this person  who'll prove his love to me in a matrimonial ceremony.

Im so much overflowing with the love for you My Lord. And all I want to do is share it to others, proclaim how good and powerful you are.

           

                Let's fall in love with Him and stay in that love every days of our lives. Because when you are in love with the Lord, it is never hard to love thy neighbors. Life will never be hard, because no matter how rough the road is, Life will always and is always a precious gift and a blessing.

Enjoy your weekend. May God be with us all.

[Written Dec. 11, 2010 at 7:56PM]

How Can I say NO?

If He has given me answers to all the questions, more answers than I expect, how can i say NO?

If the signs kept on coming even if im not asking for it, do I have the rights to turn him DOWN?

I am nothing if not for Him; for His breath He breathe unto me.. for His hands guiding and protecting me.. for His words nurturing me..

I am a humble clay Father, and You are my Potter. Fiat Voluntas tua. TOTUS TUUS. 

[Written Feb. 5, 2011 at 8:43PM]

Truth Hurts. But it will set you Free.

I just felt like writing this... random thoughts.. free flowing.. moving..

I've been trying to iron things out. Trying to get an explanation why one plus one is not equals to two; why the square root of 25 is not five.

I have invested. And initially, I did not expect a return of it. But later on, as time went by, I felt that I need an ROI. Probably because I'm always hearing in the corporate world that ROI is the measure of the success of something. I just cant give and give without receiving anything. I have grown impatient. I thought I was just wasting my time and my effort.

I scrutinize every facet of that diamond that sparkles in my mind for the last few months. This gem that I learned to appreciate. The more I examine it closer, the more it moved away.Going farther. Until I cannot see even the littlest recognizable spark it has.

Something struck me. A bitter truth and realization. The glamour it emits, the charm it releases and its special uniqueness is not intended for me. I was just one of the billions of expectator in the crowd. I was awed. I was amazed. I was mesmerized. But that precious treasure I have fallen for is not emitting its light for me. It's beauty is bound to somewhere else. I was just sharing. I was just begging.

I was broken, again. Like a glass door hit by a ball, I shattered into pieces. So broken that I have to crawl down to bring the pieces back together. And doing it is freaking painful.

I'm just so glad that I have a God. I have accepted the fact that He is my Lord and my healer. That no matter how wounded, broken, rotten, and miserable I am, He will still bandage me with care and love. He will hold me until I heal. He will be my crutch until I can walk on my own again. And He will be forever there beside me even if times I dont want HIm to be.

I am healing. We all are. The truth hurts, especially if it's a bitter truth. But it sets you free. It allows you to move on. Be better. Above all of this, God is with me. He is the only Truth that doesnt hurt. He is the Only truth that leads to the right way and gives everlasting Life.

[Written March 7, 2011 at 7:51 PM]

A Prince or a King?

 I decided to write this since I've been hearing a lot about Prince William and Kate’s wedding...enjoy reading!

Many have shown great anticipation on the wedding of the century where a fairy-tale-like story of a prince marrying a commoner happens for real. Although poll says majority of the British population doesn’t envy Kate for having William and marrying him, I know there are lots of Asians, Caucasians, Africans and all other races dreaming of being in the place of Kate right now –from just the usual girl-next-door to becoming Princess not just of the entire kingdom but of William’s heart; and on Prince William for having a gorgeous bride-to-be and a position in their monarchal hierarchy. But I have this one question; do I still have to dream of having a Prince in my life if I already have The King?

In monarchy, a king is higher than a prince. But how can I have a king in my life if first, I am not a part of the Royal family and second our country is a democratic not monarch, so there are really no princes or kings? But do you believe I have a king and he loves me so much?

It is true that I have a king and I am His princess. A humble king that has distinctive characteristics that no one but Him can possess. He does not want to boast to the world he is a supreme being. He did not force people to bow down before him. He is a king that heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds. He is the king that opens the door of his kingdom not just on earth but in heaven for his creations to come and enjoy paradise with him. My king does not judge. He is loving and merciful, slow in anger and full of constant love. He is a king who holds on to his covenant to each and every nation of the world. He is the king who loves me and my brethren so much that he gave his most loved son as a sacrificial lamb to save the world from sins.

Now you know who my king is. Indeed, He is the King of my Life. God the Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit – the Holy Trinity – is my King!

If He is your king, is there something else you could ask for? For me, there's none. His love is more than enough. With him in me, I could not ask for more.

[Written April 20, 2011 at 11:50 AM]

Signature

i was scanning pages of my organizer to look for things i should discuss to my team. then something different yet familiar caught my sight at the lower right hand corner of the page. i was trying to understand what it is. then little by little i recognized that it was my usual signature and attached to it in cursive writing were three simple letters, the last name of someone special to me. as i flip on the next pages, i saw more... side by side, one after the other...horizontal and vertical manner...too many of them.

these pages gripped my heart and brought me sadness. it was a dream to use that signature, but things happened, that until now, i dont know if there is still a chance.

no one was committed. im a single and he is. i hurt him big time. and i guess that hurt is more than enough to be the reason for him not to come back to me.

i told a friend that im holding on to the 'loveu' this guy told me the last time i had a good chat with him. but i dont know if it's still the same feeling. or maybe it has evaporated into thin air. that maybe waiting for him under the heavy cloud of silence and questions marks will lead me to an unknown path.

honestly i am still waiting. yes there are other opportunities out there but i am stuck to this feeling, to that love. im willing to let go if that's how things will be, if that's what fate will dictate and what God will grant. but i am more than willing to embrace, hold on and try again a life with him.

i havent heard from him for quite a long time now. and that stillness kept me hanging. im prone to pain. i need assurance: if im still needed or closure if i aint.

i wont be able to move on unless i know what is what. i wont be able to give a whole new love if one page isnt closed well.

but on the side, i am hoping that the book wont close. that it will be reopenend. all new chapters. upgraded version. second season. secondary succession.

i dream of you last night... and u left me... i run after you, but you're not there. u might find me 'weird' because it was me who let go but it is me trying to come back but im hoping you feel what i feel.

so please tell me love if it is good bye already or if you still want or need me... because for me, it is still you...

[created May 10, 2011 at 8:36 P.M.]

Valentine Blues

I know you are just around the curves of the earth. I am clueless now if I have met you already or I am yet to know you, but one thing I'm sure of --when the day comes that God has decided and thinks that it is already the right time for your path and mine to cross, I will be welcoming you and embracing that fate. Trust me, I will spend my lifetime in that journey with you.

Do not worry that we are not together on the 14th. Waiting is exciting! We know not what our future brings and what surprises await us on our first romantic date during heart's day.

Be patient my love. I am not looking for you effort-fully *wink*. I believe God has set the perfect time for us to be together. 

For now, be safe. And I'll do the same for you. 

Loving you til the rest of my days, 

Stacy

[This is a random thought. A letter written for my future husband.♥]

*Cricket, crickets*

I don't know for how many months now since I stopped doing this -- writing notes of love for human. 
Lately, I've been doing lots of expression of love for my God. But for my same kind? I dont know. It's as if I cant, or I'd rather not do it. 


Right now, I am aware that I have already healed the bone-deep wound my last relationship brought me. I am done with the denial part. I have pushed my way to acceptance and forgiveness followed as smooth and natural as inhaling a breath of fresh air in the morning. Yet I don't know where the uneasiness of engaging into 'a relationship' is coming from. Weird isn't it?


Crickets are all around my mind while I think about what is wrong, or why is it I don't want or when am I ready?


I don't intend to rush things.... and I am puzzled.. I'll just let this be, for now....